I spotted Miss World too good to be true But the club was pretty dark and I'd had quite a few I stagger to her table sipping my brew But just as I get there she goes to the loo Impatient bastard now what do I do? Then I cop her friend and she's alright too Her arse in good shape above average boat I ask her name, she sticks 'er tongue down my throat I'm not one to gloat or boast but take note Twenty minutes gone and she's getting her coat So I down my beer – my boys start to cheer Grin across my face runs from here to here She gives me the look and I mean the look Was it love a first sight man or somethin' she took? A swagger in my step like a crook, then I think The girl looks shook she's had too much to drink I look at her eyeballs to see if they're pink But I don't get a chance cause she gives me a wink So travel to hers in an illegal cab Plus I know she's a student her house is drab In my head I'm laughing, I've put the graft in Stereos playing some timeless Marvin The lights dim down and the clothes come off But I pass out, cause her pillow's too soft ^{Chorus: x2} I don't want (No no no no) To be true (No no no no) I don't want To make love to you I'm up the next mornin, but where the hell's this I'm trapped in girly purple abyss It's proving costly she took me hostage First things first man where's the Frosties? I slowly tiptoe towards the door But she grabs my left arm like I've broken the law Now who am I kidding, I ain't her guest But she playing like she got me under house arrest She starts with a speech about how she's feeling But I'm more intrigued by her lilac ceiling Any time now there's a question pending She wants to confirm a romantic ending Why do they charm you with Hocus Pocus? I gotta get home for the Football Focus To dodge small talk I admit defeat Er how are you for dinner love Tuesday week? ^{Chorus: x2} I don't want (No no no no) To be true (No no no no) I don't want To make love to you As we waited at the bus stop she wanted a cab But I made her see sense with the gift of the gab A cab's 20 quid and that's money for us Plus it's it's one nugget each on the 220 bus There's one little issue that we gotta address I got just enough cash for a Pizza express Even though she's wants Thai Chilli Beef with Mango I'd be content with some wings from Nandos We get to express but before we can order She starts with a tirade that I never call her I say I'm tryna keep my phone bills smaller' Try and change the subject- 'have you got taller? ' 'Don't gimme that, that's a loada tosh' She says words like that she's a little bit posh 'All I want El is a call at lunches' As she keeps ranting the waiter approaches 'Be honest you want this to work or not? ' 'Er, doughballs please and an American Hot' 'I'm talking geezer I want to know please' 'She'll have a Caesar with no anchovies - And two Peronis' he makes a note I look back at her and she's getting her coat She heads for the door like a spoilt adult More food for me ay what a result! I don't want ^{Chorus: x2} I don't want (No no no no) To be true (No no no no) I don't want To make love to you