Take the national express when your lifes in a mess Itll make you smile All human life is here From the feeble old dear to the screaming child From the student who knows that to have one of those Would be suicide To the family man Manhandling the pram with paternal pride And everybody sings ba ba ba da... Were going where the air is free On the national express theres a jolly hostess Selling crisps and tea Shell provide you with drinks and theatrical winks For a sky-high fee Mini-skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle Back in 63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) But its hard to get by when your arse is the size Of a small country And everybody sings ba ba ba da... Were going where the air is free Tomorrow belongs to me When youre sad and feeling blue With nothing better to do Dont just sit there feeling stressed Take a trip on the national express