Vlad- Vlad- Vlad the impaler
Vlad- Vlad- he coulda been a whaler
Vlad- Vlad- Vlad the impaler
Vlad- Vlad- coulda been a whaler
Coulda been a tailor
He turned out to be Norman Mailer
Whoa- whoa- whoa- whoa
He stepped back and smoked a joint
20,000 peasants got the point
Mommy was a hamster
Daddy was a jailer
Real tough childhood
For such a f...ing Flailor
He's so glad he's Vlad
Vlad- Vlad- Vlad the impaler
Vlad- Vlad- he coulda been a whaler
Vlad- Vlad- Vlad the impaler
Vlad- Vlad- coulda been a whaler
Coulda been a tailor
He turned out to be Norman Mailer
When he was a boy
They sent him to the Turks
But they didn't like him
Because the Turks were jerks
When Vlad returned home his wrath
For his ancient foe he spurned
But the ancient art of impalement
Something the boy has learned
Oh how he learned
He learned, they burned, they burned, they burned
Rotisseries of corpses turned
He's so glad, he's so glad, he's so glad, he's so glad he's Vlad
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