We were driving to Birmingham, Alabama and my buddy Keith was driving the truck And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac. She just kinda smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said look at that Big Fat Bitch So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went Big fat bitch she\'s a big ol big ol fat bitch she goes to Ryan\'s and they say, \"Shit! this one\'s gonna cost us... she\'s a big ol bitch!\" She\'s a big ol bitch She sweats grits you can hide a pound of dope under one of her tits Big fat bitch She\'s a big ol bitch Who stole Christmas? The Grinch Who stole the Twinkies? big fat bitch! She\'s a big ol bitch Yeah she had this cajun friend who had a pet alligator She ate that some-bitch like it was a green Now N Later or a fried green da-mator You\'d have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush to masterbate her She\'s a big ol bitch She\'s a big ol bitch When she was eight years old she had a Pogo stick that would say, \"hey Wanda!\" And they\'d go \"song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong\" And now her pogo stick says, \"HOLY F*CKING SHIT!\" And they go \"Bount. Bount.\" She\'s a big ol bitch She\'s a big ol bitch She gargles and drools and spits and she makes all kinds of noise She chases the ice cream man down Cunningham in her corduroys She\'s a big ol bitch She\'s a big ol big fat bitch!!!!