I don’t do crack, I’ve never seen cocaine
Unfortunately I rarely pop an aspirin when in pain
‘Cause I wanna be of alcohol or any drug at all completely free
But I self-medicate with tea.
I know just where to go to get my fix, the beverage aisle at Starbucks
I confess I get my kicks
I’m not in denial, my oolong heals, your dealer deals for quite a hefty fee
So I self-medicate with tea
its not that I’m not miserable as any old drunk
My life is no more bareable than any old junkie
I’d jump out a window, suicide’s a sin though
I’ve found another way, theres no amount
I wouldn’t pay to overdose on Earl Grey, or english breakfast
When Im hopped up on caffinated chai, I’m feeling the buzz
And when you asked if I liked to get high, I already was
It’s black or green or inbetween, sometimes it looks like weed
But my self-medicating, improves my mental stating
I dont need to go to rehab, or the site of a methlab
I may be a cynic, but the Betty Ford clinic isnt ever gonna break me from my habit of choice
Its my opium,my xanax and its good for my voice
I hope you comprehend my reasoning
Twinnings, Lipton, Celestial Seasonings
Keep your marijuana, I got my own remedy
I self, Self-medicate with tea
BOOM…It’s chamomile.Yeah.
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