Once there was a time
When the conquest of pain
Was all that I could hope for, had been my only aim
Happiness or joy merely unwords without meaning
They were unwanted anyway as surely out of place
All I wanted was the voices to be silent
A brief moment in the dark, in loneliness and chill
How I wished my mind could escape the camat dungeon
That was flying silently through space while I lay caged and chained within
Today my view - strangely increased- it is beyond compare
But nothing became easier
I'm still struggling to be free
A thousand different things dare to appear before my eyes now
They come and leave untouched, because still I cannot see
In true darkness there's no choice than do discover
The uselessness of eyes giving birth from their own despair
Here eyes can nothing but decay
And if I fail and do identify myself with them
Then their destiny I'll share
You are with me all the time
All the time
So very unreasonable had been my fear
How could I ever believe that I might be losing you
When forever we're connected and you are part of me
It's your omnipresence that defines
The way in which I do exist
Forcefully leading me back to where I do belong
Opening my eyes to see the true essence of my being
By dissolving the distractions of the outer world
In the loneliness of the pain you bring
The isolation of my soul guarantees
The maintenance of the only thing that I know
My natural and obvious differency
Beloved old friend and life-time companion without you to nothing I would fall
Your power pervades me and lies me low
But as the same time a new strenght is born in my soul
In a universe of change and continuous movement
I am counting on you since I know you shall last
Being my darkness and the basis of splendor
Light-giving background as most fertile past
You trance-formation source of understanding
You are the power that is pulling me down
Whenever lightness seeks to carry me away
You connect me safely to the ground
You chill of my winter
Eternal Saturn-sphere
Petrified and frozen
With a logic cold as ice
I walk through the world
Look in surprise at the living
Without being able
To share their strange delights
Beloved old friend
And bringer of sadness
Shadow-like cloak
Almost matters so real
You slip right through me
Like I was merely membrane
My feelings so ambivalent
When my wounds refuse to heal
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