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Sweeney Todd - A Little Priest Sweeney Todd - A Little Priest |
| MRS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame...
TODD: Shame?
LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot´s ´is name has...
Had...
Has!
Nor it can´t be traced...
Bus´ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift!
No?
Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...
TODD: HAH!
LOVETT:
Good, you got it!
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus´ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
And a pussy´s good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I´m sure they can´t compare as far as taste!
[Simultaneously]
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...
TODD:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
LOVETT:
It´s an idea...
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, how I´ve lived
Without you all these years, I´ll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
LOVETT:
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen´ll
Soon be comin´ for a shave,
Won´t they?
Think of
All them
Pies!
TODD:
How choice!
How
Rare!
TODD:
For what´s the sound of the world out there?
LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
TODD:
It´s man devouring man, my dear!
BOTH:
And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?
TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
TODD: What is that?
LOVETT:
It´s priest. Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, it´s too good, at least!
Then again, they don´t commit sins of the flesh,
So it´s pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven´t you got poet, or something like that?
LOVETT:
No, y´see, the trouble with poet is
´Ow do you know it´s deceased?
Try the priest!
TODD: (spoken) Heavenly!
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,
but then again, not as bland as curate, either!
LOVETT:
And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin´ more!
Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!
Lawyer´s rather nice.
TODD:
If it´s for a price.
LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!
TODD:
Anything that´s lean.
LOVETT:
Well, then, if you´re British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it´s clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it´s been!
TODD:
Is that squire,
On the fire?
LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You´ll notice it´s grocer!
TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!
LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It´s green!
TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!
TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!
LOVETT:
Ev´rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below!
LOVETT: (spoken) Now let´s see, here... We´ve got tinker.
TODD: Something... pinker.
LOVETT: Tailor?
TODD: Paler.
LOVETT: Butler?
TODD: Subtler.
LOVETT: Potter?
TODD: Hotter.
LOVETT: Locksmith?
Lovely bit of clerk.
TODD:
Maybe for a lark.
LOVETT:
Then again there´s sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark!
Try the financier,
Peak of his career!
TODD:
That looks pretty rank.
LOVETT:
Well, he drank,
It´s a bank
Cashier.
Never really sold.
Maybe it was old.
TODD:
Have you any Beadle?
LOVETT:
Next week, so I´m told!
Beadle isn´t bad till you smell it and
Notice ´ow well it´s been greased...
Stick to priest!
(spoken) Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
but then of course it´s... fiddle player!
TODD: No, this isn´t fiddle player -- it´s piccolo player!
LOVETT: ´Ow can you tell?
TODD: It´s piping hot!
LOVETT: Then blow on it first!
TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet --
LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?
TODD:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell!
TODD:
But fortunately, it´s also clear
BOTH:
That [L: But] ev´rybody goes down well with beer!
LOVETT: (spoken)
Since marine doesn´t appeal to you, ´ow about... rear admiral?
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
LOVETT: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra.
TODD: What is that?
LOVETT:
It´s fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd´s pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I´ve just begun --
Here´s the politician, so oily
It´s served with a doily,
Have one!
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it´s going to run!
LOVETT:
Try the friar,
Fried, it´s drier!
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
LOVETT:
Then actor,
That´s compacter!
TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone!
I´ll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!
LOVETT: (spoken) Wait! True, we don´t have judge yet,
but we´ve got something you might fancy even better.
TODD: What´s that?
LOVETT: Executioner!
TODD:
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
TODD:
We´ll take the customers that we can get!
LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!
TODD:
We´ll not discriminate great from small!
No, we´ll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,
BOTH:
And to anyone
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Andrew Lloyd Webber:
