Gray hair Glasses Suitcase Humble Clever And constantly working for peace Uganda Congo And the Oslo treaty plan Oh my God, what a plan Not as famous as Gahr Stare Not a daddy's boy like Jens But when handgrenades are flying There's just one man you can trust When there's war and all is hell Send in Jan Egeland! The United Nations superhero man Mad dictator with a gun Send in Jan Egeland Oh, how I wish.. I was Jan Egeland.. Blue eyes Firm hands Nice legs Clean shaved Body Drinking his protein shakes Spray-tan Skin cream And buttocks like he was eighteen He's a peacekeeping machine.. And he stares into the mirror Flexing muscles in the night And he says: "Boy, I think you're ready.. ..to protect some human rights" When there's war and all is hell Bring in Jan Egeland! The United Nations superhero man He plays golf with Kofi Annan And looks at maps with George Cloon Oh, how I wish.. That I was Jan Egeland! Egeland (Egeland) Egeland (Egeland) When he's sad he goes to funerals In unusually heavy rain Large amounts of water in his face But that doesn't hide his pain He breaks down just like ha homo And starts crying just like a girl But I guess you can cry and still be a man If your day job is saving the world! When there's war and all is hell Send in Jan Egeland! He's a macho musclepumping.. Crying god! If there's one man you should trust It is the Janny-boy Oh, how I wish.. That I was Jan Egeland!