^INTRO Intercom: Guys Michael Bolton is here Andy: Oh great, send him in. Michael: Hey guys All: Hey thanks for coming. Andy: How’s it goin’? Michael: I’m really sorry I’m late I just got caught up watching the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon…have you seen those things? All: Oh yeah, those are great. Michael: Well I listened to your track and I loved it, and I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you’re gonna really dig. Andy: Oh wow, that’s great. You wanna just lay it down? Michael: Boys lets get to it (to it to it to it) ^ANDY Here we go Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (Michael: YEAH) The night starts now On track The boys are back The night starts now The night starts now, baby, roll with us Chickies snappin’ at the neck when we rollin’ up (Michael: Rollin’up!) Club front doors ain’t no holdin’ up Black card at the bar like I gives a fuck (Michael: Come on!) ^JORMA It’s The Lonely Island Welcome to the set Some fellas lookin’ jealous Play that back and get wet (Michael: YEAH YEAH) ??? at my waist shank in my sock You either get cut get stuffed or get shot ^MICHAEL This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow Pirate so brave on the seven seas (Andy: What?) A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze ^AKIVA Yeah, that was kinda weird but we’re back in the club Buyin’ out the bar so the groupies show us love (Michael: Keira Knightley!) A fifth of ice man I’m the top gunna Heater on blast I’m the number one stunna (Michael: Jack Sparrow!) ^ANDY Watch your girl because I ain’t your mister nice guy More like the meet ya take you home and fuck you twice guy All dressed up with nowhere to run I know I make you feel crazy when I— (Michael: Now back to the good part!!!) ^MICHAEL One day he was born He yearned for adventure (Andy: NO!) Oh Captain Jack (Jorma: Yeah) ?????? He’s the pauper of the surf The jester of Tortuga But in Davy Jones locker What lies in store? (Akiva: Yeah, we’ve seen the movie) ^ANDY Put your hands in the air And say hell yeah Captain Jack (Andy: What?) Johnny Depp (Andy: No) ^JORMA From the front to the back Saying we count stacks c’mon ^MICHAEL Davy Jones (Jorma: Nope) Giant squid (Jorma: Wrong) ^AKIVA Michael Bolton, we’re really gonna need you to focus up ^MICHAEL Roger that let me try it with another film (Andy: Wait) Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump (Andy: Not better) Though I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed I give Jenny all my love (Akiva: Come ON) Okay, then I’m a legal aid Erin Brockovich is my name (Akiva: Oh god) Then you can call me Scarface Snortin’ mountains of cocaine (Andy: It doesn’t matter) You cockroaches wanna play rough? Okay, I’m reloaded! HA HA! This is the tale of Tony Montana This is the tale! Cool ??? flame With Miami ??? European wife Your coke is polluted This whole town’s a pussy Just waiting to get fucked Just waiting to get fucked! (Andy: Okay it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile) You complete me (Andy: Yeah, yeah okay)